Granny Bob

Granny Bob…

There are many things I will miss about this loud, crazy, stubborn woman. She loved the 9 of us grandkids with her entire heart, but she would give us a hug and slap us across the face in the same moment if she needed to. I can’t remember who came up with the name “granny Bob”. She hated it, but we were all ornery enough to keep the name going.

There were random weekends growing up that I remember a group of the 9 of us grandkids going to Granny Bobs house for the weekend. We would all play outside in the hot summer or the crisp fall evening and then all march back inside to wash up and eat dinner. Almost every evening we would unfold the hide-a-bed couch, pile up, and watch movies till late in the night. But we never watched cartoons at Granny Bobs house. No, no. We watched classics. We watched black and whites, musicals, and westerns. Granny Bob would sit in her love seat. Tom would sit in his chair till he couldn’t stay awake any longer and the group of us grandkids would all lay on the hide-a-bed and watch till the early morning hours. All the girls would be on the bed, Maddie would twist her hair which was Bob’s favorite. Ty and Logan would more than likely be messin with Bo. Mom, Dad, Keith, or Kevin would be sitting on the love seat with Bob, in the floor, or in the middle of the pile with us. During the movies Bob would get so excited when her favorite parts would come up and say “Yall be quiet, this is my favorite part.” Or when we would start fightin and kickin each other off the bed she would yell at us and say, “Yall settle down and pay attention this is real important.” Whether or not it was important we would all settle down and start watchin again.

After the movie was over we would all discuss the movie and our favorite parts or characters and then turn towards Bob and whisper “Midnight snack?” and she would always say “Of course!”, so we would all very quickly gain back our energy and run into the kitchen leaving whoever couldn’t stay awake behind. We would immediately pull out the ice cream, pie, cake, donuts, or whatever sweets we had for the weekend, and of course the gallon of milk and several tall glasses. Those were some of sweetest memories. Once we were done with our snacks depending on what time it was we would either stay up talking till we all one by one went to bed or we would just put another movie in. As kids we stayed up passed midnight sometimes till 2 or 3 in the morning with our grandmother, watching great movies, and eating sweets. Who gets to do that?!

As I got older she started branching me out to a larger variety of classics. I remember when she tried to get me to watch “To Kill a Mockingbird” the first time. I was so apprehensive because it was so serious and I wanted to watch one of the movies I already knew were great. I ended up falling asleep before the end. She was patient and watched it with me a couple more times over the years. The next morning I would always ask her to tell me what happened with Boo Radley, but she never would, always insisting that I “watch the whole damn thing to find out.” Eventually I finally did watch it the whole way through with her and she was right, it was much better that way.

My sister Kassidy has this thing where she gets real mad and no one, I mean NO ONE, crosses her when she gets mad….. except Bob. Kass would get real mad at me for doing something to her and she would march real purposefully towards wherever Mom and Bob were sitting and tell them with extreme detail what I did to her in this incredibly angry and persistent manner. Bob never could keep a straight face and would look at her with a smile beginnin to show and say “Kassidy, I’m gonna laugh. You better turn around and walk away cause I’m gonna laugh.” When we were younger Kass just stood there and her anger would fume as Bob would release into a gut rolling laughter at Kassidy’s persistence in standing her ground. Since we have gotten older we have all laughed together at Kassidy’s moments of persistent anger at whatever the situation may be, but it was always Bob’s favorite when somebody (usually me) would make Kassidy mad.

Bob loved her old country and western gospel hymns. She always had a different song she wanted me to listen to and then learn so I could sing it. That’s something I will always cherish. She loved listening to me sing. She always made me feel like it was one of her very favorite things in the whole world to do.

For me the most special thing about Bob is how when she gave me a hug she would wrap her hands around my head and hold me tight. No matter if it was just a random hug or we were greeting each other or saying good bye, it was always like that. Then she would say  “Kaitlyn, my precious, I love you I love you I love you.” Over and over again. She is one of the very few people that would always call me Kaitlyn and it always stuck out to me when she would do that.

These are just some of my favorite stories or memories with our sweet crazy Bob. I could have written forever, but these are what came to mind first. I love hearing stories from my mother and uncles about her when they were growing up. Then throughout all 9 of us grandkids, we've got plenty of funny stories to go around about our Granny Bob. We cherished her as a gramma and a mother. She was the crazy glue that would bring all of us crazies together.

Life Lessons from Granny Bob:

-Midnight snacks are always a good idea.

-Hostess cake donuts are the best. Hands down!

-An old country and western hymn is sometimes just what your soul needs.

-2 or 3 movies in a row on one night? Why not! Ice cream breaks in between!

-Mexican Casserole. 2 words that make any person in our family start salivating immediately.

-A curse word every now and then just to prove your point sure as hell ain’t gonna hurt anybody.

-An old black and white movie will fix almost any problem.

-There ain’t no shame in bein a little weird. (or a lot of weird in Bob’s case)

-Just cuz I'm yellin at ya doesn't mean I'm mad at ya. It's just the way we show love.

-Singing is always the best medicine even if you can’t carry a tune.

-A beautiful handmade quilt is a dear treasure.

-Laughter is the most important part of your day. If your not laughing, your not living, even if that means your just laughin at yourself.

-It is never ok to say good bye without saying “I love you” at least 5 times.

Little Voices

There are a handful of things in life that bring instant joy to someone's heart.
Some of the things that bring me instant joy are:
-precious time with Father
-laughing with someone when the situation is completely understood without words
-a sweet word/note/email from a friend
-slaloming at 7am with my Daddio and/or a group of special friends
-watching people from this country worship Father in their heart language
-joking around with my family, or better stated "making fun of each other"and laughing at each others expense. (i.e.- thanksgiving, christmas, pk lake reunions, etc)
-girls night (cooking, laughing, inevitably doing something crazy) with "the crew"
-any and all forms of chocolate cake

One of the things that I have missed out on for a while now is little voices. I missed talking with children about there lives, what they did for the weekend, what they are learning, how they got in trouble, about the things that make them happy like batman, princesses, bugs, and dogs. Little voices are so full of information, full of innocence and kindness, then followed by a spark of mischievous thought or action. I missed being creative in what I could teach them and how I could make learning a more enjoyable experience for them. Whether that be learning to read, or simply how to make the ultimate lego tower, or their princess crown more colorful.

This month, I was thrown back into the world of little voices. The only difference is that I don't always understand what they are saying to me and they don't always understand what I'm saying to them. That in itself is a massive challenge for me, but it is still so good to hear little voices all around me everyday. While this month has been one of the most challenging months of living here, it has been one of the most joyful. I have had many stressful days from learning how to acclimate myself to doing this job within a new culture and in a new language, but Father has been so good and faithful and loving to remind me of how He made me. He made me with this crazy weird love for kids, and I'm so thankful to be back in this world. I didn't realize how much I missed it until I was back in it.

I have gone up and down about how to teach these sweet children a little bit of English in the year I will have them within my grasp. It has been so hard to switch over all my teaching thoughts and habits into a second language and culture, but now a month after opening our school, they all walk through the door, put their hands together, bow their heads and say "Good Morning Teacher Saaeng Dao" (Saaeng Dao is my Lao name) in a perfect little Asian English speaking voice. My heart melts every morning and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Here are some of the faces that bring that instant joy to my heart:

This guy immediately brings a smile to my face when he comes walkin in the door.
Even when he is flippin out about leavin his momma, I do anything I can to make him happy.

Such a ham.

I've known her for about 10 months now, she holds such a special place in my heart.
So glad she is at our school and I can love on her everyday.

He got his hair cut last week, so now he is "our little pineapple".

Heart melts every time.

This little guy thought I was Vietnamese.
I guess thats valid if thats the only nationality that you know the word for.

These 2 are nicknamed our "kedur boys" which basically means they are always in trouble, and always getting other kids in trouble.

These boys never stop making me laugh.

Such a little smarty.

I mean, goodness, look at him.
Please tell me you did not just crack a smile at this crazy kid!
We have so much fun together!

So cute. 

"Peace" or whatever hand motion they can think to do.

This cute face hides a BIG mischievous spirit in this little girl.

My King

I realized something this morning… I fear failure more than I fear anything else in this world. I fear disappointing people. Which in turn makes me become lazy and nervous to do anything: in language, in work, in relationships. I heap guilt on myself when I don’t complete a task to the best of my ability, or when I keep giving into that same temptation, or when I know that I’m being selfish in my decision making.

Most of the time I believe that Father looks at me with a scornful expression when I “fail”. I’m really good at believing that Father condemns me when I give in to temptation. I’m really good at not trusting Father with the things in my life.

By being good at these things, I’m not believing in the G0d of the word. I’m not believing in Yahweh, Adonai, Jehovah, the G0d of Jacob. I’m believing in the image that the enemy puts in my head.

Sometimes I feel exactly like Eve…

The serpent is saying “Did G0d actually say, ’there is not condemnation’?” And my reply is something along the lines of, “G0d said there is no condemnation for those who never fail him.” Then the serpent says, “Surely you are condemned, for you fail him everyday.” And when I see that what he says somehow makes sense in my head, I take a bite of his lies and fully believe in it.

The story continues…

Then when I realize what I’ve believed in and my fear of failure is the only thing I can think about, my eyes are open to the guilt of my sin much like Adam and Eve’s were opened. I feel the weight of failing G0d and the guilt that comes with that and I hide from Him, or I purposefully try to hide a certain part of my life from Him. Next, Father is so faithful to call out to me in the garden where I am hiding and all I can feel is shame and fear. Shame that I believed in the lies and fear of the condemnation that I still somehow believe is going to happen. Like he is walking towards me with his finger out stretched and has that same scornful look on his face ready to yell at me for my shortcomings.

This circle of guilt, shame, and fear is one of the enemies oldest and most effective traps.

I was reading this morning and talking to Father, but I was getting frustrated that I wasn’t fully “in” it. That same fear of failing G0d for not fully enjoying and basking in His word crept into my mind. Then, of course, the guilt and shame followed, pushing me towards shutting my word and moving on to what I have to do for the day. Ugh! I hate the enemy!

Father had incredible grace on me this morning and randomly reminded me of S.M. Lockridge’s “That’s My King” video in the midst of this mental battle. So I eagerly looked it up in hopes that it would bring me some focus. (If you have never seen this video I highly suggest you take a look, I promise its for your own good.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yX_7j32zgNw&feature=related

When I have watched this video in the past I usually focus on the great things he says about Father. But this time I realized that I knew those parts, and the only thing I could hear him say was “That’s My King” over and over. I’ve read about Him and I’ve studied about Him. I’ve read and I know that no means of measure can define His limitless love, He’s impartially merciful, He’s the sinners savior, He’s eternally steadfast, He supplies strength for the weak, He’s available for the tempted and the tried, He delivers the captives, His yoke is easy and His burden is light, He’s the gateway to glory, He forgives sinners, His word is enough, His grace is sufficient, He sympathizes and he saves.

As I sat there and thought about my guilt and shame and fear, I felt like G0d was yelling at me with a loving face full of tears saying, “I’m your King! Proclaim who I really am over your life.” (The complete opposite of the scornful face the enemy told me to believe.)

Now, if you know me then you know that I am a crier. Let’s just say that tears were flowing freely at this point. I looked down into the Psalm that I was suppose to read next and read…

“The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.” Psalm 145:8-9

Oh how I love Him so! I don’t deserve this limitless love. I don’t deserve grace and mercy and love from the creator, but he lavishes it upon me. He “takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.” (Psalm 147:11) He sees me where I am in the garden, hidden in my ball of guilt, shame, and fear and rescues me. And he NEVER fails to do so.

Now, I’m not saying that the serpent isn’t going to try to lie to me again and I’m definitely not saying that I will yank him out of the tree from now on. I’m a sinner; I’m going to fail every single day for the rest of my life. BUT this is the great struggle. The struggle against flesh and bone to be with and like our Savior. A sweet brother reminded me about a month ago that “we must continue in grace, knowing that the future glory far outweighs the present suffering. It will be worth it the day we step into the better country.”

So I urge you as well, to continue in the grace that our amazing Father gives and keep striving because it will all be worth it when we see His glorious face.

My King does not condemn me. Romans 8:1

My King will not leave me as an orphan. John 14:18

My King has adopted me as His daughter. Romans 8:14-16

My King will never allow anything to snatch me from his hand. John 10:28

My King will rescue me from evil EVERY TIME. 2 Timothy 4:18

THAT’S MY KING!

To Him be the glory forever and ever, Amen.

That's Normal Here #2 "Special Music"

One thing I love about going to fellowships here is that I get to hear songs being sung in a different language to our Creator. I enjoy listening to the songs that people from this country have written, but my favorite is when they have translated an English hymn. I love hearing the familiar tune and listening to my new language being sung to it. I have been studying how to read the symbols of this language, so while in a fellowship I practice my reading during the songs that are originals to this country, but usually I just can't help singing along in English to How Great Thou Art, Tis So Sweet, and Only Trust Him. People here have no shame about the volume of their voices when they sing, so the place is always booming in song. I can't explain the joy in my heart when I hear people from this country praising Him. Kinda reminds me of a vision when we will all be singing in every tongue to our King. So wonderful.

In a normal fellowship here there is a time slot for special music. Not the type of special music that is in the bulletin for a fellowship back home, when someone's name is in the bulletin and has "specially" prepared a "special" song for the "special" music time. This time slot is for anyone who wants to sing a song or if anyone wants to hear someone else sing a song. It's most likely not planned and is very spontaneous. Someone introduces the special music time and then the mic and the band are free use to anyone for the next 20 to 30 minutes. Usually I just sit back and enjoy the unashamed willingness to sing in front of large crowds. I have been warned by many that they like to get the foreigners up to sing, I had been fortunate to somehow get by thus far without being called out.

A couple Sundays ago, however my good friend was in charge of guiding the service. She had been telling me (or warning me) that she wanted me to sing one day at the fellowship. I always laughed and said, "No, thank you." Well yesterday she decided to call her best foreigner friend out in front of everyone. I think that they assume us foreigners also have no shame when it comes to singing in front of larges groups of people on the spot. As people turned towards me and encouraged me forward, I had no choice. My supervisors were also (literally) pushing me out of my chair in excitement to see how I would handle this reality check of culture. I nervously walked to the front of the room and racked my brains for a song to sing. The only one I could think of was How Great Thou Art. We had just sang it in L a few minutes before, they sing it in a very fast paced tune, so in those few seconds before I got to the mic I figured they wouldn't know that I'm singing the same song if I sing it real slow like we do back in the States.

Back home, I grew up singing in front of our fellowship. I was use to it and I loved doing it, so this wasn't completely foreign to me, but there is something about extreme spontaneity that really gets your adrenaline going. I said the traditional few words in L that everyone says before they sing a song, told them I would be singing in English, and began. Much to my avail, the band figured out what song I was singing and started playing along with me. I could tell that it was unnatural for them to play it so slow, but by the end they were really getting into it and I could tell that it completely didn't matter that I was singing the same song because I was singing in English and it was so different from the way they normally sing it.

At the end I thanked Father in L, like everyone always does and walked back to my seat. As I sat there, I realized how much fun that was. I haven't sung with a mic in my hand in so long and I didn't realize how much I missed it.

However, I learned my cultural lesson of the day and from now on I will be prepared for a "special music" foreigner call out...

TRUTH

One of my fellow workers sent me a link to this sermon, and it's safe to say I was either crying or in awe of Father throughout the whole thing.

This sermon is by David Platt. The audience is actually a room full of pastors, so any and all pastors take note, but in general these truths are for every believer to take hold of and live out. This is one of the most beautiful ways I have ever heard this preached. The title of it explains enough of what it is about.

Divine Sovereignty: The Fuel of Death-Defying Missions : Together for the Gospel

I know that it is long and you will more than likely need to give yourself some time to be able to listen, but please come back to this when you have time or make time. Save it for Sunday and listen to it on your "church" day, or save it for a not so busy evening and before you turn on the TV, listen to this instead. Podcasts may not be your thing, but with a little blunt love from me to you..... You need to make it your thing ;-)

Please grab your good book and your journal and talk some notes. Believe me, you won't regret it!