This morning our MaBon (housekeeper) came over to clean the house. She isn't feeling well at all today. When she came this morning, she told me that she wasn't feeling well and I realized I didn't know how to say anything that showed that I cared for her and wished her well (thats going in my next language lesson). I was a little frustrated that I couldn't say anything to show her that I cared for her. I wish I could express to y'all how much I deeply care and love this woman. I knew her from my 2009 trip, and she has shown nothing but love and care to me all of the days that I have known her. That is truly how she is to everyone around her. She is diligent and hard working. She will come to our aide whenever we need her (example: I locked myself out of my bathroom and she called a locksmith for us). She is a person I have come to love and cherish.
Later this morning, I went to the kitchen to make some hot tea for myself and I heard her coughing in the next room. I decided I would make her a cup too, but my mind went blank on how to ask someone if they would like some tea. I stood there for a second (or two or thirty) to try and put the sentence together in my head. It's such a simple sentence, but thats what happens to my brain on a Monday morning. I finally figured out how to say something of the sort, so I got her attention and asked. She laughed a little at my language, but she grateful said, "Yes that would be good." as she patted her chest and throat to show it really would help. I was filled with so much joy that I finally could show someone in this country that I care about them in their heart language. Father was so good to me in helping me remember those words and giving me the thought to make her some tea. It not only encouraged me with language but also to love on our sweet MaBon.
After a little over a month of language learning, I can confidently say it has been everything and anything but easy. It has pushed me to my limit on many levels. It's one thing to study a language in a classroom with assignments, quiz's, and exams, but living in the culture and being surrounded by people who do not speak english or can speak very little english is something completely different. You lose all sense of identity, competence, and confidence (all of which we were warned about over and over again at training).
I have had good days, really good moments, bad days and some really really bad days. There has been days when I could understand a good bit of the language around me, but then there have been days when I don't feel like I've been studying the language at all. Those days, unfortunately, have been the majority lately. BUT this makes the good days and really good moments so much sweeter. Some of the greatest highs that I have experienced here has been when I can create my own sentence that I came up with on my own to a complete stranger, or when I can hold a conversation with someone, or tell a long story to a friend about my life, or just simply understanding what someone is saying to me.
On the days when I am not looking forward to adding new vocabulary to my language snowball or studying for another 3 hours, I always come back to "why am I learning this crazy language again?" Every time I think about this, I have to come back to "why did I move to the other side of the world?" and "why did I leave home and family for 2 years?". Every time I come back to the good news.
I came to this beautiful country to share the greatest story every told. News that can bring hope to their hopeless lives. News that can bring them joy and a purpose. News that can bring them out of blindness and out of death. News that changed the world. News that changed me. I didn't come because of me and my desires. I came because I love my Father and my Father loves these people. If I want to share, I must share it in their heart language. Right now, I obviously don't have the language to share the good news, but persistence, endurance, and focus during this time of studying will lead to that.
While offering hot tea is not sharing the good news, it still served it's purpose of showing someone in a different country, with a different language then my own that I care about her. She knows what I believe and I hope that our care for her speaks volumes.
Please lift up this sweet woman. She is not a daughter to the Father, but she has heard the good news before. Ask that her heart is opened to understand the good news, and her eyes be opened to just how good Father is.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Beautiful
If you know me you should know that I use the word "beautiful" probably a little bit to often. I don't know when I picked it up or why I started using it so much, but now it seems like it is my adjective for everyone and everything. One "beautiful" friend pointed this out to me a couple months ago and I have been pondering the thought of "beautiful people" and "beautiful things" since then.
Lately, Father has been showing me many things about myself that are not so beautiful and rather are nasty, dirty, and so very sinful. Moving to this "beautiful country" has brought about many opportunities to learn about myself. About how I react to high stress situations, how I act to feeling incompetent in life, how I handle the difficulty of learning a language, and basically how I adapt to such a huge life transition. All of these things at some point have brought about some nasty reactions and some sinful parts of my heart that I don't enjoy viewing.
In viewing this hidden sin in my life, there have been days when I have been discouraged and times when I don't understand how in the world Father can continually show me grace. I sometimes think he gets annoyed or frustrated with me when I continue in my sin, (making Father out to be someone He is not is a whole other blog) and I think that he gives me grace because He has to.... you know because he is the Almighty and thats what he does and suppose to do.
When you think about the good news and what it really means to be made alive, you have to think about what you came from. When Father chooses to save you, he literally pulls you out of a dead sea. We were lifeless, without any hope at all. Drowning in our sin. We were dust on the earth. No form, no purpose. That glorious day when He pulled you out of death and dust, he formed you into a beautiful thing. He made you righteous in His sight no matter the sin you lived in. Even though we sin against the Almighty daily, He will see us through His sons blood on that day when we stand before Him.
While we are still living on this earth he DELIGHTS in making us look, reflect, think, act, speak, and love like Him. This truth is so sobering for me. He NEVER looks at me with frustrated eyes or annoyance at my repentance. When I come to Him with sorrow over sinning against Him, He will never begrudgingly give me grace.
I think that Father rolls his eyes at me when I ask for forgiveness yet again for that sin that I keep going back to. I feel so shameful for the sin that I have so much trouble with and seem to never be rid of. BUT Oh, how he delights in our repentance, he delights in our desire to be like HIm, he delights that we hate our sin, he delights in making us beautiful.
A song that I have always loved has come back into my life recently (I go through cycles of listening to my music, so sometimes I neglect some of my favorites because I try to listen to all of my music.... random weird thing about Katy). Of course the title is "Beautiful Things" by a band named Gungor. (Go listen to it now if you've never heard it!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyPBtExE4W0&feature=related) The chorus is simply this:
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
You are making me new
Praise Father that he is making me new and he makes beautiful things out of dust and of us (we were dust) because if He didn't I would still be a dead lifeless, hopeless body drowning in my sin. With his salvation he made us ALIVE and with his discipline, reproof, and continual grace he makes us BEAUTIFUL!!
So in conclusion, I have decided that I like the word "beautiful" even more now and will continue to use it. Saying that a person is beautiful holds so much more weight to me now and I love it. I love that it means more than just a superficial descriptive word or just some random thing that I do. It is an adjective that describes what Father is making us out to be.
Lately, Father has been showing me many things about myself that are not so beautiful and rather are nasty, dirty, and so very sinful. Moving to this "beautiful country" has brought about many opportunities to learn about myself. About how I react to high stress situations, how I act to feeling incompetent in life, how I handle the difficulty of learning a language, and basically how I adapt to such a huge life transition. All of these things at some point have brought about some nasty reactions and some sinful parts of my heart that I don't enjoy viewing.
In viewing this hidden sin in my life, there have been days when I have been discouraged and times when I don't understand how in the world Father can continually show me grace. I sometimes think he gets annoyed or frustrated with me when I continue in my sin, (making Father out to be someone He is not is a whole other blog) and I think that he gives me grace because He has to.... you know because he is the Almighty and thats what he does and suppose to do.
Sometimes I get more shameful and embarrassed at the thought of how people will view me if they knew my sin and if their opinion of me would change, then i do when I think about Father viewing my sin. So dumb! How much more does Father know about me than anyone on this earth and how much more does it hurt Him to see His daughter sin against HIm. He sees my sin every day, every single last sinful thought that I have he sees in that moment. The thought of Him being all knowing plus the hope that people wouldn't change their opinion about me is the reason I sometimes feel like Father gets frustrated with me in my sin.
When you think about the good news and what it really means to be made alive, you have to think about what you came from. When Father chooses to save you, he literally pulls you out of a dead sea. We were lifeless, without any hope at all. Drowning in our sin. We were dust on the earth. No form, no purpose. That glorious day when He pulled you out of death and dust, he formed you into a beautiful thing. He made you righteous in His sight no matter the sin you lived in. Even though we sin against the Almighty daily, He will see us through His sons blood on that day when we stand before Him.
While we are still living on this earth he DELIGHTS in making us look, reflect, think, act, speak, and love like Him. This truth is so sobering for me. He NEVER looks at me with frustrated eyes or annoyance at my repentance. When I come to Him with sorrow over sinning against Him, He will never begrudgingly give me grace.
Behold my servant, whom I uphold,
my chosen, in whom my soul delights;
I have put my Spirit upon him;
he will bring forth justice to the nations.
Isaiah 42:1
My son, do not despise the Lords discipline
or be weary of his reproof
for the Lord reproves those he loves
as a father the son in whom he delights.
Proverbs 3:12
I think that Father rolls his eyes at me when I ask for forgiveness yet again for that sin that I keep going back to. I feel so shameful for the sin that I have so much trouble with and seem to never be rid of. BUT Oh, how he delights in our repentance, he delights in our desire to be like HIm, he delights that we hate our sin, he delights in making us beautiful.
A song that I have always loved has come back into my life recently (I go through cycles of listening to my music, so sometimes I neglect some of my favorites because I try to listen to all of my music.... random weird thing about Katy). Of course the title is "Beautiful Things" by a band named Gungor. (Go listen to it now if you've never heard it!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyPBtExE4W0&feature=related) The chorus is simply this:
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
You are making me new
Praise Father that he is making me new and he makes beautiful things out of dust and of us (we were dust) because if He didn't I would still be a dead lifeless, hopeless body drowning in my sin. With his salvation he made us ALIVE and with his discipline, reproof, and continual grace he makes us BEAUTIFUL!!
So in conclusion, I have decided that I like the word "beautiful" even more now and will continue to use it. Saying that a person is beautiful holds so much more weight to me now and I love it. I love that it means more than just a superficial descriptive word or just some random thing that I do. It is an adjective that describes what Father is making us out to be.
Why shouldn't I use this word maybe a little bit to often?!
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Sunday, November 20, 2011
Would you like some hot tea?
This morning our MaBon (housekeeper) came over to clean the house. She isn't feeling well at all today. When she came this morning, she told me that she wasn't feeling well and I realized I didn't know how to say anything that showed that I cared for her and wished her well (thats going in my next language lesson). I was a little frustrated that I couldn't say anything to show her that I cared for her. I wish I could express to y'all how much I deeply care and love this woman. I knew her from my 2009 trip, and she has shown nothing but love and care to me all of the days that I have known her. That is truly how she is to everyone around her. She is diligent and hard working. She will come to our aide whenever we need her (example: I locked myself out of my bathroom and she called a locksmith for us). She is a person I have come to love and cherish.
Later this morning, I went to the kitchen to make some hot tea for myself and I heard her coughing in the next room. I decided I would make her a cup too, but my mind went blank on how to ask someone if they would like some tea. I stood there for a second (or two or thirty) to try and put the sentence together in my head. It's such a simple sentence, but thats what happens to my brain on a Monday morning. I finally figured out how to say something of the sort, so I got her attention and asked. She laughed a little at my language, but she grateful said, "Yes that would be good." as she patted her chest and throat to show it really would help. I was filled with so much joy that I finally could show someone in this country that I care about them in their heart language. Father was so good to me in helping me remember those words and giving me the thought to make her some tea. It not only encouraged me with language but also to love on our sweet MaBon.
After a little over a month of language learning, I can confidently say it has been everything and anything but easy. It has pushed me to my limit on many levels. It's one thing to study a language in a classroom with assignments, quiz's, and exams, but living in the culture and being surrounded by people who do not speak english or can speak very little english is something completely different. You lose all sense of identity, competence, and confidence (all of which we were warned about over and over again at training).
I have had good days, really good moments, bad days and some really really bad days. There has been days when I could understand a good bit of the language around me, but then there have been days when I don't feel like I've been studying the language at all. Those days, unfortunately, have been the majority lately. BUT this makes the good days and really good moments so much sweeter. Some of the greatest highs that I have experienced here has been when I can create my own sentence that I came up with on my own to a complete stranger, or when I can hold a conversation with someone, or tell a long story to a friend about my life, or just simply understanding what someone is saying to me.
On the days when I am not looking forward to adding new vocabulary to my language snowball or studying for another 3 hours, I always come back to "why am I learning this crazy language again?" Every time I think about this, I have to come back to "why did I move to the other side of the world?" and "why did I leave home and family for 2 years?". Every time I come back to the good news.
I came to this beautiful country to share the greatest story every told. News that can bring hope to their hopeless lives. News that can bring them joy and a purpose. News that can bring them out of blindness and out of death. News that changed the world. News that changed me. I didn't come because of me and my desires. I came because I love my Father and my Father loves these people. If I want to share, I must share it in their heart language. Right now, I obviously don't have the language to share the good news, but persistence, endurance, and focus during this time of studying will lead to that.
While offering hot tea is not sharing the good news, it still served it's purpose of showing someone in a different country, with a different language then my own that I care about her. She knows what I believe and I hope that our care for her speaks volumes.
Please lift up this sweet woman. She is not a daughter to the Father, but she has heard the good news before. Ask that her heart is opened to understand the good news, and her eyes be opened to just how good Father is.
Later this morning, I went to the kitchen to make some hot tea for myself and I heard her coughing in the next room. I decided I would make her a cup too, but my mind went blank on how to ask someone if they would like some tea. I stood there for a second (or two or thirty) to try and put the sentence together in my head. It's such a simple sentence, but thats what happens to my brain on a Monday morning. I finally figured out how to say something of the sort, so I got her attention and asked. She laughed a little at my language, but she grateful said, "Yes that would be good." as she patted her chest and throat to show it really would help. I was filled with so much joy that I finally could show someone in this country that I care about them in their heart language. Father was so good to me in helping me remember those words and giving me the thought to make her some tea. It not only encouraged me with language but also to love on our sweet MaBon.
After a little over a month of language learning, I can confidently say it has been everything and anything but easy. It has pushed me to my limit on many levels. It's one thing to study a language in a classroom with assignments, quiz's, and exams, but living in the culture and being surrounded by people who do not speak english or can speak very little english is something completely different. You lose all sense of identity, competence, and confidence (all of which we were warned about over and over again at training).
I have had good days, really good moments, bad days and some really really bad days. There has been days when I could understand a good bit of the language around me, but then there have been days when I don't feel like I've been studying the language at all. Those days, unfortunately, have been the majority lately. BUT this makes the good days and really good moments so much sweeter. Some of the greatest highs that I have experienced here has been when I can create my own sentence that I came up with on my own to a complete stranger, or when I can hold a conversation with someone, or tell a long story to a friend about my life, or just simply understanding what someone is saying to me.
On the days when I am not looking forward to adding new vocabulary to my language snowball or studying for another 3 hours, I always come back to "why am I learning this crazy language again?" Every time I think about this, I have to come back to "why did I move to the other side of the world?" and "why did I leave home and family for 2 years?". Every time I come back to the good news.
I came to this beautiful country to share the greatest story every told. News that can bring hope to their hopeless lives. News that can bring them joy and a purpose. News that can bring them out of blindness and out of death. News that changed the world. News that changed me. I didn't come because of me and my desires. I came because I love my Father and my Father loves these people. If I want to share, I must share it in their heart language. Right now, I obviously don't have the language to share the good news, but persistence, endurance, and focus during this time of studying will lead to that.
While offering hot tea is not sharing the good news, it still served it's purpose of showing someone in a different country, with a different language then my own that I care about her. She knows what I believe and I hope that our care for her speaks volumes.
Please lift up this sweet woman. She is not a daughter to the Father, but she has heard the good news before. Ask that her heart is opened to understand the good news, and her eyes be opened to just how good Father is.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Beautiful
If you know me you should know that I use the word "beautiful" probably a little bit to often. I don't know when I picked it up or why I started using it so much, but now it seems like it is my adjective for everyone and everything. One "beautiful" friend pointed this out to me a couple months ago and I have been pondering the thought of "beautiful people" and "beautiful things" since then.
Lately, Father has been showing me many things about myself that are not so beautiful and rather are nasty, dirty, and so very sinful. Moving to this "beautiful country" has brought about many opportunities to learn about myself. About how I react to high stress situations, how I act to feeling incompetent in life, how I handle the difficulty of learning a language, and basically how I adapt to such a huge life transition. All of these things at some point have brought about some nasty reactions and some sinful parts of my heart that I don't enjoy viewing.
In viewing this hidden sin in my life, there have been days when I have been discouraged and times when I don't understand how in the world Father can continually show me grace. I sometimes think he gets annoyed or frustrated with me when I continue in my sin, (making Father out to be someone He is not is a whole other blog) and I think that he gives me grace because He has to.... you know because he is the Almighty and thats what he does and suppose to do.
When you think about the good news and what it really means to be made alive, you have to think about what you came from. When Father chooses to save you, he literally pulls you out of a dead sea. We were lifeless, without any hope at all. Drowning in our sin. We were dust on the earth. No form, no purpose. That glorious day when He pulled you out of death and dust, he formed you into a beautiful thing. He made you righteous in His sight no matter the sin you lived in. Even though we sin against the Almighty daily, He will see us through His sons blood on that day when we stand before Him.
While we are still living on this earth he DELIGHTS in making us look, reflect, think, act, speak, and love like Him. This truth is so sobering for me. He NEVER looks at me with frustrated eyes or annoyance at my repentance. When I come to Him with sorrow over sinning against Him, He will never begrudgingly give me grace.
I think that Father rolls his eyes at me when I ask for forgiveness yet again for that sin that I keep going back to. I feel so shameful for the sin that I have so much trouble with and seem to never be rid of. BUT Oh, how he delights in our repentance, he delights in our desire to be like HIm, he delights that we hate our sin, he delights in making us beautiful.
A song that I have always loved has come back into my life recently (I go through cycles of listening to my music, so sometimes I neglect some of my favorites because I try to listen to all of my music.... random weird thing about Katy). Of course the title is "Beautiful Things" by a band named Gungor. (Go listen to it now if you've never heard it!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyPBtExE4W0&feature=related) The chorus is simply this:
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
You are making me new
Praise Father that he is making me new and he makes beautiful things out of dust and of us (we were dust) because if He didn't I would still be a dead lifeless, hopeless body drowning in my sin. With his salvation he made us ALIVE and with his discipline, reproof, and continual grace he makes us BEAUTIFUL!!
So in conclusion, I have decided that I like the word "beautiful" even more now and will continue to use it. Saying that a person is beautiful holds so much more weight to me now and I love it. I love that it means more than just a superficial descriptive word or just some random thing that I do. It is an adjective that describes what Father is making us out to be.
Lately, Father has been showing me many things about myself that are not so beautiful and rather are nasty, dirty, and so very sinful. Moving to this "beautiful country" has brought about many opportunities to learn about myself. About how I react to high stress situations, how I act to feeling incompetent in life, how I handle the difficulty of learning a language, and basically how I adapt to such a huge life transition. All of these things at some point have brought about some nasty reactions and some sinful parts of my heart that I don't enjoy viewing.
In viewing this hidden sin in my life, there have been days when I have been discouraged and times when I don't understand how in the world Father can continually show me grace. I sometimes think he gets annoyed or frustrated with me when I continue in my sin, (making Father out to be someone He is not is a whole other blog) and I think that he gives me grace because He has to.... you know because he is the Almighty and thats what he does and suppose to do.
Sometimes I get more shameful and embarrassed at the thought of how people will view me if they knew my sin and if their opinion of me would change, then i do when I think about Father viewing my sin. So dumb! How much more does Father know about me than anyone on this earth and how much more does it hurt Him to see His daughter sin against HIm. He sees my sin every day, every single last sinful thought that I have he sees in that moment. The thought of Him being all knowing plus the hope that people wouldn't change their opinion about me is the reason I sometimes feel like Father gets frustrated with me in my sin.
When you think about the good news and what it really means to be made alive, you have to think about what you came from. When Father chooses to save you, he literally pulls you out of a dead sea. We were lifeless, without any hope at all. Drowning in our sin. We were dust on the earth. No form, no purpose. That glorious day when He pulled you out of death and dust, he formed you into a beautiful thing. He made you righteous in His sight no matter the sin you lived in. Even though we sin against the Almighty daily, He will see us through His sons blood on that day when we stand before Him.
While we are still living on this earth he DELIGHTS in making us look, reflect, think, act, speak, and love like Him. This truth is so sobering for me. He NEVER looks at me with frustrated eyes or annoyance at my repentance. When I come to Him with sorrow over sinning against Him, He will never begrudgingly give me grace.
Behold my servant, whom I uphold,
my chosen, in whom my soul delights;
I have put my Spirit upon him;
he will bring forth justice to the nations.
Isaiah 42:1
My son, do not despise the Lords discipline
or be weary of his reproof
for the Lord reproves those he loves
as a father the son in whom he delights.
Proverbs 3:12
I think that Father rolls his eyes at me when I ask for forgiveness yet again for that sin that I keep going back to. I feel so shameful for the sin that I have so much trouble with and seem to never be rid of. BUT Oh, how he delights in our repentance, he delights in our desire to be like HIm, he delights that we hate our sin, he delights in making us beautiful.
A song that I have always loved has come back into my life recently (I go through cycles of listening to my music, so sometimes I neglect some of my favorites because I try to listen to all of my music.... random weird thing about Katy). Of course the title is "Beautiful Things" by a band named Gungor. (Go listen to it now if you've never heard it!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyPBtExE4W0&feature=related) The chorus is simply this:
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
You are making me new
Praise Father that he is making me new and he makes beautiful things out of dust and of us (we were dust) because if He didn't I would still be a dead lifeless, hopeless body drowning in my sin. With his salvation he made us ALIVE and with his discipline, reproof, and continual grace he makes us BEAUTIFUL!!
So in conclusion, I have decided that I like the word "beautiful" even more now and will continue to use it. Saying that a person is beautiful holds so much more weight to me now and I love it. I love that it means more than just a superficial descriptive word or just some random thing that I do. It is an adjective that describes what Father is making us out to be.
Why shouldn't I use this word maybe a little bit to often?!
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